The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man by Brett Mckay & Kate Mckay

Author:Brett Mckay & Kate Mckay [Mckay, Brett & Mckay, Kate]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Etiquette, Humor, Psychology, Reference, Men's Studies, Men, Men - Identity, Gender Studies, Sex Role, Masculinity, Personal & Practical Guides, Array, General, Identity, Social Science
ISBN: 9781600614620
Publisher: F+W Media, Inc.
Published: 2009-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

Asking for a Woman’s Hand in Marriage

Once you know your gal is the one for you and you’re ready to take the plunge with her, there is an important duty you must take care of before you propose: asking your future father-in-law for his daughter’s hand in marriage. It is a tradition that has unfortunately been slowly fading away from Western society. Many argue that the whole idea smacks of sexism and chauvinism and harks back to times when women were treated like chattel.

Quite not. You’re not making a property exchange, you’re asking for her father’s blessing. When you get hitched, you’re not only marrying your honey, you’re also marrying into her family. Asking for her family’s blessing gets your relationship with them off on the right foot. It’s a profoundly respectful gesture that lets the family know you’re sincere in your intentions and a true gentleman.

But it’s definitely not an easy task; the experience can make any man a nervous wreck. Following these guidelines will help ease the stress and make this rite of passage bearable if not enjoyable.

1. Talk to your girlfriend first. Before you do anything, make sure you and your girlfriend are on the same page about a few things. First, is she ready to commit? Does she even want to get married? You don’t want to get her father’s blessing only to have her give you the mitten. Second, ask your girlfriend how she feels about you seeking her dad’s blessing. While traditionally this is a man-to-man talk between prospective husband and future father-in-law, a modern woman may desire that you speak with both of her parents. Or your girlfriend’s dad may have passed away or been an absent or abusive father, and she may ask that you speak only to her mother. If so, be sure to honor her wishes.

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